Wrist Slogans.

I am not the only person in this house that has decided to get in shape. My mother, whose super-slender frame apparently is carrying an extra half a pound this season, is going to start walking every evening, and she is going to take my son with her on these short speed walks. I will be taking my walks later at night after the J-Man is in bed.

This is something we discussed at length. The J-Man enjoys going for walks around the neighborhood, and we think it’s good for him to start enjoying the benefits of regular exercise. He’s spent a lot of time stuck in the house with his sickly and frequently-homebound mother, and therefore probably needs to get out more.

I wish I had gotten into the groove of doing some sort of cardiovascular activity like running or walking or biking a lot more as a kid, but I was a little too busy trying to win Olympic medals in chain smoking and speed barfing.

Heh.

The J-Man is very into collecting these rubber bracelets that all the kids seem to be wearing lately. You know the ones – popularized by Lance Armstrong – I believe the originals were bright yellow and said “Live Strong”. I have a couple of black ones given to me by a friend that have skulls and crossbones and read “Live Wrong”.

The J-Man has a few – “Courage”, “Baseball”, “Listen to Loud Crappy Pop Music”, whatever.

I’d like to come out with my own line, since they seem to be so popular. “Flush The Toilet” would be a particularly helpful one for my child. I’d make that one bright purple, his favorite color, so that every time he looked at it he’d remember to flush.

“Eat Over Your Plate” would be another winner. “Make Straight A’s”. “Don’t Mouth Off”. “Stop Whining”.

Let’s give these kids some truly important words to live by.

“Turn Off The TV”. “Don’t Use Heroin”. “Stop Teasing The Cat”. “Read A Lot”. “In Bed By 8:00”. “Eat Vegetables”. “Don’t Be A Snot”. “Live Smart”.

Laugh all you want, but parents would totally buy my shit.

Happy Thursday.

3:55 p.m. - 2005-04-21
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